The area in which I am a part of at work performs lessons learned sessions quite often. The sessions allow the individual to share successes, as well as obstacles and what was done to overcome those obstacles. After enduring a divorce and numerous other challenges, I feel that I should have my own lessons learned session, except this one will be through writing:
1. Utilize a “red stop sign” – If I begin to have negative thoughts, or say something I might regret, picture a stop sign. This can help me redirect my thoughts.
2. People are inherently good, although there are people who are bad, bordering on evil. Therefore, it is important to really get to know your partner as well as possible.
3. Having a solid support system is key – Whether it be parents, friends, colleagues, or a therapist; having people to talk to is imperative. In my case, I had all of those.
4. Whatever you do, do not lie – It is easier to remember truthful details than details filled with lies. Lies will come back to haunt someone, which is what occurred with my ex wife. An individual who lies loses all credibility.
5. For those with children, never bad mouth the other parent in front of the child(ren).
6. It is possible to find love again, although it might take time. It has happened to me. 😃
7. Seeing a therapist is vital if you are having difficulties. I have noticed a positive impact on my life through attending sessions with an unbiased third party.
8. If you have children, make them the focus of your attention. Doing this can help keep things normal for them during an abnormal time. Every child, and situation, is obviously different, but I found this strategy worked.
9. Financial difficulties will subside and even out. Financial difficulties do not define a person, how one approaches and handles difficult situations defines that person.
10. Take the high road, always.